Hi, it's me! Madam.

Hi, Sayang,

I'm writing this letter fully aware that you may never read it. I've decided to freely express my feelings here instead of overwhelming you with my thoughts.

Saying "I love you" has become exhausting. You probably feel the same hearing it. 

Dear Sayang,

 

I don’t have to express much about how much I love you because it is already very obvious. I love you so much that sometimes I try so hard not to be at this level of love. Our situation is too complex and complicated. I know you care for me, you want me to be safe, but that’s all; we can’t improve our relationship to be more serious. There is also a “third person” whom I assume you already love. I can’t do much about it. Jealousy? Of course, I can’t lie. It causes me pain. But what’s more painful is how I still love you even though I know about this.

Making Friends

Making friends is not the easiest task for me. I find it difficult. I'm aware of it. That's why I tried to be more extroverted, practiced myself in small talks to people, forced myself to do things I thought I couldn't.

Instead of feeling better, I feel frustrated. I was like, "Why is it so easy for others and hard for me? Making friends is supposed to be a basic skill, and I can't even do it?". I felt I failed at being human because I can't connect to the surroundings.

When you feel lost

This is actually my personal journal, but I hope this could be helpful for you too.

Read this when you're tired

Hi, ditha!

How are you doing?

I know it feels tiring to stay cheerful. Sometimes, you just feel…i don't know. Sucks?

For a better me

"I deserve a better life"

"I deserve a better life"

"I deserve a better life"

That's a mantra I keep telling myself when I feel pain in my chest.

Good Morning

Good morning comes from two words, good and morning. Having a good morning is not hard, actually. I just have to wake up, stretch a little bit, and recall things I love about myself.

Celebrating Little Things

 

Dear myself, 

I know you’re tired. Life shouldn’t be this hard on you. You deserve a better life. You’re smart. You’re knowledgeable. You’re caring. You don't want to hurt others.

Why do we like night city and afraid of night village?

"Kenapa sih kota itu keliatan indahnya hanya di malam hari?"

Review Series: The Big Bang Theory

Hey! Udah lama banget ga nge-review series. Sesekali deh, bikin postingan berfaedah, nggak curhat mulu wkwk.

Siapa yang bilang usia 20an itu menyenangkan?

It's "meromantisasi kesedihan" time wkwk.

Well, I just wanna share my thoughts that is "gatel" in my head these days. Eventho I know there's no one who read this post. But I just wanna "ngeluarin rasa sesak" di dalam dada. Jiah...

Hampa: Rindu Masa Lalu

"Pernahkah kau merasa hatimu hampa?"

Jiah, jadi kek lirik lagu hahaha. Sejujurnya aku sedang mengalami fase ini sih. Yap, fase! Kata orang sih ini lagi "fase kehidupan" aja. Ibaratnya kek episode dari series kehidupan yang harus kita hadapin.

23 years old

2021, tahun di mana aku memasuki usia 23.

Usia di mana aku mulai mempertanyakan eksistensi diri. I thought it was just "drama" thing that people think, but setelah ngerasain sendiri hahahaha pait juga.

Dear myself 2020

Hey, Ditha.

Actually I dont even know what to say.

Just act like this is my diary haha.

Menghadapi Kekecewaan

Hey, sobat ambyaar! It’s time for 1am thoughts.

Pada masa self quarantine ini, aku ingin menghabiskan tengah malamku dengan menuliskan isi pikiranku. Yep, just stating out my opinion. So, correct me if i’m wrong.

Jadi, kali ini aku ingin berpendapat tentang bagaimana menghadapi kekecewaan.