Dear Sayang,

 

I don’t have to express much about how much I love you because it is already very obvious. I love you so much that sometimes I try so hard not to be at this level of love. Our situation is too complex and complicated. I know you care for me, you want me to be safe, but that’s all; we can’t improve our relationship to be more serious. There is also a “third person” whom I assume you already love. I can’t do much about it. Jealousy? Of course, I can’t lie. It causes me pain. But what’s more painful is how I still love you even though I know about this.

Like we always say, I will be fine, things will get better. You know what? I am sad because I love you so much that it feels so hurtful to let you go.

I try my best to believe I will find someone better. For now, it’s still hard to believe. Here I am, trying to understand your situation, how your parents want a Muslim girl who has faith in Allah, which she has; she also looks pretty.

How you always hang out with her almost every week, how you meet her parents, how you bring her to weddings. I think that’s enough evidence that ours is already broken. It hurts, but it’s okay; I will get through this.

I will just love you in silence and pray for our happiness on our own paths. Maybe not with you, but I just keep having faith that I will find someone better to love and make me feel loved.

With God, I will find answers, clarity, and peace for our situation.

Always with love, Madam