Wednesday, January 6, 2021

23 years old

2021, tahun di mana aku memasuki usia 23.

Usia di mana aku mulai mempertanyakan eksistensi diri. I thought it was just "drama" thing that people think, but setelah ngerasain sendiri hahahaha pait juga.

Usia di mana aku mulai cemas akan masa depan. Merasa diri ini beban keluarga. I thought "beban keluarga" is just people "jokes" for being lebay. Tapi, setelah dipikir lebih dalem lah iya bener juga diriku ini beban keluarga.

I know there's nothing I can do in this "pandemic" life. But, yeah still. I feel anxious. It's really hard to be productive, but sulit juga untuk bisa relax. I dont know what to do with this life. 

People said, "Yaudah sih santai aja. Pandai nanti Tuhan ngaturnya" but I can't live with that "kind of thinking"

"Tiap org udh ada jalannya masing2"
"Rejeki ga kemana"
"Tuhan punya rencana"

I hope I can be "that chill". But yeah, I always got freak out when i think bout this life.

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